How to Live as the Family of God | Building a Gospel-Shaped Church | Week 7

If you have your Bibles today, and I hope you do, take those out. I'll meet you in First

Timothy, chapter 5. If you're not sure where First Timothy is, find the last

book of the Bible and turn left. Uh you'll you'll eventually run into some uh some books that start with T.

Thessalonians, Timothy, Titus. Those are in order by the length of their names.

Thessalonians, Timothy, Titus. At least that's how I remember it. I don't know how y'all remember it.

We continue our study uh of looking at

Paul's letter that he wrote to young Timothy. His Wait a minute. What are y'all doing

sitting over there today? Y'all are supposed to be sitting right over there. You guys know that I

I learn where people sit and when people sit in different seats, it just throws me off, man.

You know what? It might be easy for someone to come through those doors on a Sunday morning, maybe maybe a person

that's been going here a long time, maybe a guest to just come in, sit down, not say a word to anybody,

sing a few songs, sing the words that are up on the slide, and and and listen

to a message from the pastor, and after it's over, walk out to your car and

never say a word to anybody. It might be possible for someone to do that. I think it might be difficult for

someone in this church and I'll explain more in just a minute. Uh we we

sometimes thinks I don't think I don't want to interrupt people's lives so we don't say anything to anybody. Uh I need

to respect their privacy so we don't say anything to anybody. But that's not what

we're supposed to do when we gather like this. when the body comes together because he's writing about this church

family in Ephesus Ephesus uh that Timothy is charged to look after and

he's giving Timothy some instructions on how to treat the family and then he's

not only does Paul give Timothy some instructions but he tells Timothy to give the church some instructions. So

there's there's words for for all of us, good instructions

throughout this letter as to how we as a family of God ought to

behave. We being the pillars of the truth, those that hold up and hold up

high the truth of God. We continue our discussion uh that we looked at last

week that we need each other. You are important to me whether you know it or not. I was encouraged by several of you

after the service last week that uh came up and just encouraged encouraged me and

I I'm telling you I need you and we need each other more than you know and more

than you realize. We need each other. So uh we continue this study. We need to

be concerned for each other's each other uh in the body and our

brothers and our sisters. In fact, John tells us in 1 John 3:es 14-18, listen to

this. He says, "We know that we have passed out of death into life because we

love the brothers and sisters. Whoever does not abide who whoever does not love

abides in death. Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer. And you know that

no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. By this we know love that he laid

down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has the world's good

and sees his brother in need yet closes his heart against him, how does God's

love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word

or talk, but in deed and in truth.

Listen, the way that we treat one another is important. It's an indicator of our relationship with Christ.

We communicate not only to each other, but to the world non-verbbally how we love one another.

So, it's important, and we're going to continue to to touch on that today. And with this understanding of how important

we are to each other, how important it is that we treat each other, uh, it

should slow us down as we read through some of these passages because we're going to read words like widows.

Well, I'm guessing there's a bunch of men that might come to this passage and go, "Man, it's going to apply to man. Let me just read through this real quick

and go on to the next part." No. No. We need to slow down because all scripture

is what? It's God breathed and it's what? Useful.

It's useful for us. And so we need to slow down, make sure we don't skip over these passages. And these instructions

are for us as the church and how we are to be treating one another. So the first

thing I want to point out, it's on your outline if you grabbed one of those when you came in. As the church, we are to

love each other like family. Like family.

As family, Paul said, we're to treat each other a certain way. So look with me at verse four, verse one of chapter

5. He says,"O not rebuke an older man, but encourage him as you would a

father." Let me stop for just a second. Chapter 5 of First Timothy has 16

imperative verbs in it. 16 commands. I'm

not asking you the I'm telling you to do that. There's an imperative verb in what I just read. And the imperative is

encourage. Do not rebuke an older man, but

encourage him as you would a father. Younger men as

brothers, older women as mothers, younger women as sisters in all purity.

You know, a couple of weeks ago, I had one of the mature women of our

church enter into a very elite club within our church.

She had greeted me at the front door of the church when she came in and

she gave me a hug and said, "I just want to encourage you with your weight loss.

you've you've lost weight and you look good. And and when she was saying that,

she patted me on my belly.

And I said, "You have just entered into, Miss Joyce,

one of four women in my life that are permitted and I will not strongly rebuke

for patting me on my belly." Miss Carol's one of them. and she's done

it. And my wife and my mom treating me like family.

And Paul Paul says, "Hey man, you need to treat your elders with honor

and respect." And I I don't know, maybe it's just me,

maybe it's my upgra upbringing. I grew up in a house where we said yes sir and no sir. Yes ma'am and no ma'am. I I I

still say to this day, I'll call like like yesterday, Miss Rhonda,

Miss Carol, Miss Joyce. I I it's just the way I was brought up, but it's my way of communicating respect

of honoring my elder. I don't know, and you guys talk about this on the way

home. Uh I don't know if that is something that is dying in this generation. Can I talk to the young

people for just a second? Can I be a youth pastor for just a second? Young people, here's the deal. You want to

show respect because one of my ways is to say yes sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am. That those kind of things. But you find

your way. Let me tell you one way that you can show respect and honor. If you're sitting in a crowded place and

you see an older person standing up, it is respectful for you to say, "Would you

like to sit here?" and offer your seat. Now, someone that's old like me,

I don't see that happening much anymore, but I guarantee you, you want to impress an older person, you

offer your seat to them. Just find your way of honoring and respecting your elders. It's important.

We're instructed uh to do that. I don't know what your way is, but I

would encourage you to find your way to

respect your elders. He he goes on and he says to treat younger men as

brothers. Now, I have heard stories of how some of you treated your brothers.

I've heard of BB gun wars. Let's set that stuff aside

and to treat each other as brothers and sisters with respect.

Uh to treat younger women, he goes on and says, uh as treat older women as

mothers and and younger women as sisters in all purity. Folks, listen. I want to stop and just

encourage you for a second because this is something that I look at from my perspective, my point of view and I

would say this church does this very well.

I in fact this last Sunday uh one of our staff members said she was

approached by uh a firsttime guest that said, "We won't be here this coming

Sunday, but we'll be here the next. It just feels like family here." And and I

want to stop and and encourage you in that you do this well. Good job. Keep it

up. Don't slow down. Press on. Loving people. If you're a guest with us today

and and during our greeting time, it may have been uncomfortable and people you didn't know were approaching you. I just

want you to know that we're coached up to make sure everyone that walks in here

knows they're welcome. Everyone that walks in here is welcome.

And we're not perfect people, but we do love one another and we love each other

well. So, we're to look after and care for one another.

And we're to treat each other with purity. Treat these younger women with purity. Because in that day, that didn't

necessarily happen. Can I talk to the youth one more time? Mom and dads, y'all

can chill out for a second because I'm going to talk straight with the youth for just a second.

Guys, when you enter into the age of dating, I ain't unashamed and I'm not worried

about looking at you young men. And when you start dating, saying to you straight to your face, you treat that young lady

with purity. You keep your hands to yourself.

That is not what social media teaches our children. That is not what the world is teaching our children. The world is

saying, you do whatever you want and have as much fun as you want. And I'm going to stand on scripture and say, you

treat those young ladies with purity.

Young ladies, I say the same thing to you. You treat that young man with purity.

It is a dying uh You guys help me. It's a dying art.

It is a dying part of our culture to encourage our children to walk and treat

each other with purity. But scripture clearly teaches us that.

So, okay, I'll move on. And so, I want to encourage you, church. You're doing great. Keep it up. Uh, we see you see

when we see each other at Sam's, when we see each other at King Supers, we need to greet one another with warmth.

I I won't necessarily say that we need to greet each other with a holy kiss

like Paul does says to the Corinthians. Uh but we need to do that

not just here but wherever we see one another to love on each other and take

care of each other. So if we want to increase as John says in chapter 13 verse for 34 and 35 of his

gospel look at this with me. Jesus says, "A new commandment I give to you, that

you love one another. Just as I've loved you, you also love one another. By this

all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.

That's just how we're supposed to do it." Paul is telling Timothy, "Man, you you

teach your people to love one another because if you and I because he's given us a blueprint for a gospel-shaped

church. If we want to increase, check this out, church, community of grace. If we want to increase our effectiveness

with a gospel witness, the world will know that we're followers of Christ by

how we love one another." And I'm just suggesting today that you

do that. Well, keep it up. Keep it up. Keep loving on each other. The second

thing I want to point out that that he points out in here as the body of Christ, he identifies a specific group

of people and he addresses widows. Now, you guys stop with me for just a

second. We have a context of first century

near east. This is Ephesus, modernday Turkey. This

is not Western culture. 2025 United States of

America. But here's the deal, and this is this is what we always have to do with scripture. There was a truth that

was in this passage in the first century of the Near East, modern or modern day

Turkey. There's a truth there that we got to find out what it is. You pick that truth up and you take it over here

to 2025, United States of America, and it's the same truth. It can't be a different truth. It's the same truth.

So, what is the truth? What is the the nugget that we have to grab a hold of and put in our pocket? That's what we're

looking for in this passage because he says something here.

He says a few things that I'm having a hard time figuring out how what to do with them. And I'm going to let you guys

do some homework. That's right. I said it. Some homework and do some investigating on your own.

But let's let's look here what he says. He says number in verse three, honor

widows. Honor is the imperative, by the way. It's not an it's not a suggestion.

It's a command. Honor widows who are truly widows. And what does that mean?

Are there fake widows out there? I mean, are they acting like their husband didn't die? I mean, what

what's he talking about? So, number two on your outline, as the church,

we are to care for those who have no family.

Who have no family. He goes on to explain

this point because in ancient Israel, in the ancient near east, widows

could truly be in trouble. Their source of provision was now gone.

The setting in ancient first century near east is different from

2025 United States of America. Today we have 401ks. Today we have

retirement plans. Today we have social security. Today we have retirement homes. We have nursing homes for

elderly. We we have all kinds of things that are estab

a a a widow could truly be in trouble in that day. And so we we've got to find a

truth that that he's teaching here that applies to us today because you'll see

here in a few verses. Uh go down with me at verse 9. We'll come back to it later, but I want you to help I want to help

make my point here. Let a widow who be enrolled if she is not less than 60 years of age. Well, what do I do with

that? Well, well, the lifespan of a woman in that day, if she made it to 50s and 60s,

she lived a full life. Honey, that's you.

I mean, that's that's where we are, right? That's not the lifespan of a woman

today. So, what do I do with 60 years?

today. If a woman in the first century made it through the childbearing years,

if she survived childbirth or complications that came along with that, her lifespan, the average lifespan was

50 to 60 years old. But if you were to take all women, including women that died during

childirth or complications with child birth, the lifespan, the expected

lifespan of a woman was in her 30s. So let let's take those out and say 50

or 60. And Paul says she should be enrolled, and we'll talk about that in just a minute, if she's not if she's not

less than 60 years of age. So I don't I don't know what to do with that, church.

I don't know how to there's I'm not a math guy. So I don't know any calculations that would

is there an an exact number like he used there that we need to apply here? Well,

we'll talk about that more in just a minute. But taking care of widows

is something that scripture clearly speaks about. James chapter 1, read this with me. Verse 27. Religion that is pure

and undefiled before God the Father is this to visit orphans and widows in

their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world. Verses like

this have have caused me to step back and ask questions of my leadership and

of our church. I hope that it will cause every single one of us as a part of the body to ask

questions of ourselves personally. But here's here's the question I'm asking me, Joel. What are you doing to lead the

church to take care of the widows that have been entrusted to your care?

What is Community of Grace doing to care for the widows that we have been entrusted with? Are we

being strategic? Are we being intentional to take care of them? Not just financial needs, but also emotional

and spiritual needs. Are we being family to them?

It's it's going to be part of the discussions with the elders

because I want to make sure we're doing that part. He identifies it. I mean, he pulls out a a segment of the body of

Christ, men died a lot earlier back then than they're dying now. It was an issue. And

Paul brings it up when in the household of God, these you guys that you church people that are the buttress of the

truth, you're the ones holding the truth. Here's how you behave in the household of God. If I delay in coming

see to you, I'm writing you this so that you may know how to behave in the household of God. And one of the ways is

to take care of widows that are truly widows who have no family.

They don't have any kiddos that can take care of them. their husband is gone.

The church family is to take care of them. And so I'm asking the question, I'm doing self-inventory as a as the as

the pastor, the leader of our church, are we doing a good job of taking care

of our widows? But I want I want to ask all of us to make that a personal question.

Am I doing my part as a family member of those ladies that I'm aware of that are

that are widows? Am I doing my part in taking care of them as well? So, let's

let's address that together. And and I recognize that this is a

sensitive subject. This is a sensitive topic and it needs to be addressed with care.

There are women within our own church that have suffered the pain of losing a husband. I'm aware of that.

Even yesterday, some of you were here in this room with Miss Rhonda as we

celebrated the life of her husband who recently has passed away.

So, I know that we have some that are hurting. We have some women who have been

abandoned by their husband in divorce. And I say all that to say that we need

to be aware of the pain and the hurt that some in our church are experiencing and we need to handle that with respect

and sensitivity. So as I mentioned our current context is very different from the first century

taking care of one another and and I want to stop here for a second. I'm stopping all the time, but

some of you have been very generous with taking care of those. I put out

a request a few weeks ago about those who would be impacted by the SNAP funds not being and some of you have been very

generous with that and contributed. Thank you uh for for your generosity

there. I'm just saying I'm telling you that we as a church I think do a really good job of being family

and and I encourage you in that today. So Paul didn't uh what Paul did mean

when he said who are truly widows. Who are they? He gave some qualifications.

Look at it with me starting in verse four. I'll I'll go back to verse three. Honor widows who are truly widows. Verse

four. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household

and to make some return to their parents. For this is pleasing in the sight of God. She who is truly a widow

left all alone. That's where that's where I come back to the point on your outline is that we as a church family

are to take care of peop those ladies who have no family.

It's important for us to do that. In verse eight, uh,

well, verse four, it tells us it pleases God. But in verse eight, we learn that taking care of our parents and grandparents points to our faith. Look

at verse eight with me. But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of

his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. How we

take care of people points to our faith.

Let's take care of our people. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do that.

Another qualification that he puts on these these ladies that are truly a widow, he says they must put their hope

in and depend on God. And that leads to to another qualification. They must be

devoted to prayer. Look at verse five. She who is truly a widow widow left all

alone has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers

night and day. But she who is self indignant indulgent

is dead even while she lives. So they must be devoted to prayer. They must

hope in and depend on God. These are some qualifications that helps us know that they're truly a widow.

Paul's speaking about older women at this point. I don't have an exact age like he points

out in verse 9. Maybe you guys can help me with that.

My understanding of what Paul was saying is, and I want y'all to check me on this. I want you to check me on

everything, but really on this as well. If a woman was well past childbearing years, maybe I don't know what number to

put there, but she's well past childbearing years and has lived a devoted life to her family, has been a

servant of the church, has cared for those in need. She's devoted herself to good works, and is a woman who hopes in

and prays faithfully to God. Then enroll her to be taken care of by the church.

The church is to be the one that looks after these ladies.

The government is not a relief package for the church

because we have social security, because we have all these other things in place that doesn't let the church off the

hook. If we're going to stand on scripture, then I think we can say I said I think.

I'm trying not to say I think. Scripture says that the church is to be the primary source of help for those ladies

that are all alone, which will be a help to the government, not a

government help to the church. We are the ones

that are to help take care of the ladies. the widows that are truly

widows. So I see it as I see it in in this passage. There are four categories

of widows that Paul points out. There are older widows, older faithful widows

who have relatives to support them. That's one. Number two, there are older

faithful widows who have no relatives to help them. Number three, there are older

unfaithful widows. Verse six.

And the fourth category are younger widows, which is where Paul now turns his attention. So in verse 11, he turns

his attention to the younger widows. Look with me there.

Verse 11, but refuse, that's the imperative, refuse

to enroll younger widows, for when their passions draw them away from Christ, they desire to marry and so incur

condemnation for having abandoned their former faith.

Can I just stop and say this is a very difficult passage to interpret.

I've I've read I've looked into

and it's a difficult passage. So I appreciate

what Philip Jensen comments here. I'm going to read his comments on this passage.

He says, "The passions he is speaking about here are of sensual nature. Being

governed by them can draw a person away from Christ. The desire to marry that Paul mentions

here is presumably not a desire to marry in the Lord as 1 Corinthians 7:39 mentions.

For Paul later encourages young widows to marry. Here it is the a desire that incurs

condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. He goes on to say the only way the only

other way to make sense of these verses is is to introduce the idea of celibacy

a celibacy pledge involved in being enrolled that such that a subsequent marriage

would incur some kind of censure. This is unlikely. We don't know of any other

celibacy pledge of this kind in scripture. It would not be right for us to impose

it here.

It's a difficult passage to interpret. So you guys let me know when you get it

figured out. Okay. In other words, this is a difficult

passage. The second problem uh the first problem was that their pass their their passions draw them away uh from Christ.

The second problem that he points out is is is in verse 13. He says, "Besides that, they learn to be idlers

going from house to house and not only idlers but also gossips and busy bodies

saying what they should not say." And so the second problem that he points

out with their young younger widows is that they they become idlers.

This is an issue that Paul raises elsewhere in scripture, not only about women, but about Christians. Let me read

to you 2 Thessalonians chapter 3 verse 6 and then verse 11

that's on the screen for you. Paul writes to the church in Thessalonica. Now we command you brothers in the name

of the Lord Jesus Christ that you keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the

tradition that you received from us. Go down to verse 11. For we hear that some

among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busy bodies. And so there's

there's an issue here that Paul's addressing with younger widows that that

being idle is They shouldn't be enrolled on this list

that the church has to take care of them. There there's some there's some spiritual damage that can be done by the

church taking care of them. They become idlers. And so

he moves on. So he would have younger women, younger widows marry to bear

children, to manage their household and and to give the adversary no occasion for slander. uh such as Titus chapter

2:es 3-5 he says older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior not

slanderers or slaves to and slaves to too much wine they are to teach what is

good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children to be self-controlled pure working at home

kind and submissive to their husband that the word of God may not be reviled

in other words whether a younger woman remarries or not she is to take responsibility for where

she is in life. She is to aim to return to the busyiness of family

and marrying in the Lord. I want you to see this passage in 1 Corinthians

chapter 7:39. I've mentioned it a couple of times. A wife is bound to her husband

as long as as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is to she is free to

be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord.

We all know that marriage is between one man and one woman.

Marriage is God's idea and he expects us to be faithful when we enter into the

marriage relationship. But at times a spouse dies.

At that point she is able and free to marry whom she

wishes only in the way the Lord

directs us in marriage to be faithful to that spouse.

See marriage is a sacred covenant. It it it's not the world's idea. It's

God's idea. It is a sacred covenant.

I understand that not all marriages are the same.

Not all people are the same. Not all situations are the same.

So in his instruction, Paul points out four different categories of widows, but his concern is always the same.

And I want to make sure that I'm clear on this. We are to honor widows.

We're to honor them appropriately. And widows are to

Christian widows are to serve Christ appropriately. We're family here, church. That's just

who we are. And that's who we're going to be. We're going to treat one another with

respect. And it's something that I've already said. I think you do that well.

We need to hold our elderly in honor and respect. We're to teach our younger people the

ways of the Lord with respect. We're to care for our widows, young and old. When

it comes to financial help, we're not given an option when it comes to older widows that are truly widows.

We're to care for their needs, physical, spiritual, emotional.

The bottom line today is this.

Keep it up, church. I think you're doing a great job. Well done.

We're family, and that's an express expectation that scripture has for us. And I think, yeah,

I said it. I think we're doing it well. Keep it up.

I'll close with the question that I asked earlier for us all to contemplate.

What am I doing as an individual member of this body to help and take care of and encourage

and treat with honor widows that we have within our own body?

What am I doing? What are you doing? Let's take care of them.